I've moved on

To Wordpress. Much easier to deal with. PLUS I get to learn lots of CSS.
Come visit me on my new AkaJesais.com space.

Too Many Funerals, Not Enough Weddings!

My dear dear friend Ralph lost his mom last week, and I went out to Chicago (I use the term loosely as his parents had retired to a town called Huntley, which Ralph tells me is the Algonquin word for "way the fuck out there"). Ralph has not lost his sense of humor.

It's hard to lose a parent at any time. As we age, it means there is no longer a layer of a generation separating us from being elderly ourselves, or separating us from death. It's a little shocking to look around and all of the sudden realize you are, in essence, the head of the family. I saw this with Ralph this week past. His father, elderly and defeated, his mother now gone and Ralph as oldest son stepped up to his new position as de facto head of the family with grace and strength.

Patricia M Walton was a loving wife and mother and a doting grandmother. Never one to dwell on the past, she looked to the future with strength and optimism. She always looked on the bright side, had a positive outlook, and kept smiling right up to the very end.

In 1958 Pat married Ralph S Walton and became a mother first on August 12, 1964 when Ralph V was born and on April 22, 1969 when Patrick was born. On July 12, 1997 she became a mother again when Eva Venus joined the family upon marrying Patrick. "Pat" became "Grandma Pat" when Ryan was born on January 24, 2002 and again on April 17, 2008 when Elizabeth was born.

Pat worked for several companies, including Garcy Corporation, NBC, Continental Bank, and American National Bank, from which she retired in 1994. When not keeping the rest of the family in line she could be found gardening, reading, working crossword puzzles, watching over the neighborhood children, and feeding birds, squirrels, and various stray animals. The world was Pat's family and it is a better place for it.

In keeping with Pat's focus on the future, we are comforted in the fact that she lives on in everyone she has touched. She is still with us in spirit, just not in body.

My heart went out to him as I was able to welcome him into a club I wish I did not even know existed, The Motherless. Sure, when you're forty-something it sounds overly dramatic but no matter the disfunction(s) of our families, no matter our age, we love our parents and grieve them.

Now... if someone would just get married! It would be way more fun to get together for a wedding and not another funeral.

Certainty?

In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.
~Benjamin Franklin


Captain George T. Simpson, USN (Ret)

February 1, 1933 to April 15, 2006

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Finaly notes from the Writing Marathon...finally

This was from a prompt from Judy Reeves, "I discovered...."

I discovered more about myself than about my mother. I discovered that I carry parts of my my mother in me and not just my father. I discovered that it is not all genetic and the parts that are environmental can be changed.. I discovered a longing for adventure inside my soul. I discovered a need to nest too.

I discovered regret on the table right next to grace, down the way from milkweed. I discovered I DO like to write in groups and I WILL miss my tribe mates.

I don't know what the prompt was for this snippet, but Saturday, the day of the marathon, was the day after the paddle out for Colin Wagschal and he was on my mind.

A broken surfboard, the name Colin Wagshal written with a thick black felt tip marker-- a Sharpie maybe-- more permanent than the young surfer. Pictures printed out and taped to the fiberglass prove Colin was here. The lilies, birds of paradise and baby's breath prove that he no longer is.

and the final prompt: The Present Moment

My eyes are starting to blur and I feel my shoulders inching closer to my ears. My fingers are cold. My ears are cold so I put my hood up. Maybe it will help me keep all the great ideas from escaping. Or maybe it will just keep my ears warm.

How do I write the moment and live it at the same time?

I am writing on the last line of this page, and so I turn the page and continue. A cool, no make that cold breeze comes in through the open window and Steve is happy.

I want to take all the pencils home and recycle the plastic bottles that lay strewn and empty on the table. Judy calls time and we are done.

SO thanks to everyone who contributed... together we raised over 13 THOUSAND dollars for San Diego Writers, Ink. Your official thank yous are coming soon.

It's not about cancer

If you don't know who Randy Pausch is, you should. Dr. Pausch is a professor at Carnegie Mellon University, and he has three to six months to live. And LIVE he will.... This video, "The Last Lecture" is well worth watching even though it is over an hour long. Get comfy, pull up a chair grab a coffee and listen.

Randy Pausch's PhD means he knows a lot about computer science and virtual reality, but this lecture demonstrates that he knows a lot about living life and how to achieve your dreams as well. Key points that resonated with me:

The importance of People Who Help Us: family, friends, collegues, bosses. We can't achieve success alone.
Having lost my mother at an early age, and having a father who was absent in a lot of ways taught me early on to do things myself. I've been spending the last few years unlearning some of that. It's not only OK to ask for help, but sometimes, to really be successful, it takes more than one person, and when you have a team of talented, dedicated people working together you can make a difference in the world.

How people perceive you can limit your ability to succeed.
Like it or not, Perception is reality as any good marketeer will tell you!

Do the right thing and good things have a way of happening.
This is a hard piece of advice, especially when you look around and see people that seem to be successful by cheating or lying, and it looks so easy to do it that way.

Be good at something.
This is another one that's challenging. Sometimes it takes a long time to figure out what you're good at.

Get a feedback loop and listen to it.
This is one of my favorites, I call it a personal mantra. My current mantra is "Live Like There is No Tomorrow" which to me means living life to its fullest, being prepared to take advantage of opportunities, and asking for help if I need it.

What's your personal mantra? Who do you find inspirational? and if you have a minute, say a prayer for Randy Pausch and his family... especially his three children.

My Co-Worker Scott

This is to demonstrate the new dress code at work:


Not really...

I just had to post this because Scott thinks
he's kind of a big deal...

He's not, but he dresses like one!

No Kitty No