Things I wish I didn't know about...

Gamma Knife comes to mind today because my sister will be undergoing gamma knife (again) to remove a something (lesion? micro-tumor? fleck of dust?) from her brain.

So next Wednesday I will get up at 5:30 am, pretend like I am happy to take her (which I am happy to do, just not happy that it has to be done) and hang out with her while they zap her brain with nearly microscopic beams of radiation, guided by a computer-generated digital map of her brain pinpointed to the exact spot where the anomoly is and then anhililate it. This is supposed to minimize damage to the surrounding brain tissue. It is sci-fi medicine at its finest, and given different circumstances I would find this fascinating. Instead it makes me sad and scares me.

And while we're on the subject... other things I would rather not know about:

Chemotheraphy
Cancer: breast, liver, stomach, and basically all forms of cancer
Depression
Alcoholism
OCD/Hoarding

When Darkness Morphs into Light...

You get rainbows. And that's what happened today.

This weekend was tough for me. I was very sad, especially on Sunday, a day I would usually talk to my dad. It felt like a dark weekend. Sunday especially, the clouds rolled in, and the wind got cold and damp, and before morning's light the rains came hard and fast and I listened.

I still haven't deciphered what I heard last night, but this morning there was a rainbow over the ocean between the dark clouds and the sun. I imagined there were dophins playing in the surf below and I felt a little better.

I Hate Mother's Day

Harsh, I know, but I hate that I don't have a mom. I hate going out on Mother's Day Sundays and seeing other people feting their mothers with champagne brunches and lunches and dinners.


I guess come June I'll hate Father's Day too...