It's bullshit. I want to win. I'm tired of being nominated. Yeah, I said I didn't really care, that I was so honored to get invited in for an interview.... that I totally would understand if they had the single, non-soccer mom, non-property-owner, no tax deductions, north county coastal liberal perspective covered.
But I lied.
I lied to myself. I care. It sucks that I was rejected. Again.
I really wanted to be a part of the Citizen Voices project.
So sure, it was an honor to make it to Round 2, to be asked to submit additional writing samples. It was an honor to be asked to come in for an interview... to drive an hour out of my bubble to get stuck in traffic on the way home... to meet a bunch of really cool people and have a great conversation that we called an interview. But dammit, I'm disappointed.
So why not me?
My new friend Aaryn sent me a link to this:
http://elizabethgilbert.com/writing.htm
My sister said, "I know just how you feel, Jenn. When I was a dancer I was rejected all the time for lots of reasons which had nothing to do with my talent: not tall enough, not thin enough, not fat enough, not blonde... " reminding me that being in any creative endeavor, you need to have a tough skin.
Not sure I have a tough skin, but I do have a lot of awesome people cheering me on from the sidelines.
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1 comment:
bummer. i agree. winning, being chosen, getting picked, capturing the prize, having exactly what one wants IS very wonderful. good for you, claiming your honest reactions and not pretending or covering up how you really feel.
now, what and when is the next opportunity to win? or to be nominated? or... at least to try out and compete?
xoxo
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